The Road to Happiness

Three years have passed since you left; yet it still feels like yesterday. The memory of your laughter, your enchanting smile, and the profoundness of our conversations are still so vivid in my day to day. I don’t ever want it to go away, even if it hurts. I rather live my life with sorrow, than with the idea of the memory of you fading away. Matias, I want you to understand it is not only about the sorrow, I am today, even more aware of the gifts I receive from you every morning I wake up. I am more compassionate with others, and not afraid to take risks and share my new perspective of life. Even though it might seem ironic, I have learned to live with an eternal heartache, yet, feel happier than ever, thanks to you.

All those little details of life that used to bother me don’t bother me anymore. I can now understand that everything that happens, good or bad, happens with a bigger purpose. I understand that we all have a story to tell, and with that story, a message to send and a lesson to share. Our goal is to be happy; yet, many of us don’t know how to find that happiness.

Matias, you are the one who keeps me closer to Heaven. You are my Heaven! Yet, I continue to find my way in appreciating the beauty I have in front of me, specially my precious Julieta and my radiant Ana Lucía. Julieta is my strength; she is the one who keeps me grounded and keeps me going. She reminds me so much of you. She had the best mentor and teacher; you were the best big brother ever.  I know you are as proud of her as we are. She is so caring and responsible. She takes care of Ana Lucía and wants to make her happy, the same way you wanted her to be happy. Ana Lucía is our light and joy. It is clear she came with the mission of reminding us that life is wonderful, that it is OK to smile and be careless every so often. She makes us laugh with her marvelous sense of humor and impetuous ways. She is fearless and clearly came to enjoy life. I feel immensely blessed and complete. I am the mother of three amazing human beings, and I look forward to learning more and more about what is true about life, through the eyes of you and you beautiful sisters.

Matias, thanks for teaching me to enjoy motherhood. You were such an amusing child to raise, very insightful, observant, curious and simply interesting. You always had a question that would throw off my comfort zone, yet I knew I had to come up with an answer that would live up to your expectations. "Mom, when we die, are we born again?".  Thanks to you I am better and more aware that I am here to guide my children, and let them lead the way.  Thanks to you, my love, I feel closer to knowing how to find my path to happiness. Thanks to you, I am more assertive and have even more drive to face the challenges life will throw my way. Thanks to you I have been able to understand that life is beautiful, regardless of the sorrow and pain. Thanks to you I have learn that LOVE should always be our guiding light and force. Thanks to you I can see the light at the end of each tunnel life will put my way. Thanks to you I am HAPPIER!

"Mom, if I am a part of you, and you love me so much, that means you love yourself in the same extent you love me" - Matias-